Zack. Always to the point.
"Well," I said, browsing the pharmacy isle looking for something edible but not too healthy. "I assume if I play my cards right I won't get eaten."
"Less powerful, not a trained-murdered and still unsure of how you to kill one...Yeah, I don't think you'll get eaten either."
Zack is the type of human being who is as sweet as the feeling you get when your only Friday class gets cancelled and yet, he is unable to communicate without using sarcasm or patronization. I ignore him a lot.
I scooped a bag of cheese puffs off the shelf and headed for the front of the store.
"I've got a system, Zack," I said. "Gryffith won't let anything happen to me as long as I keep feeding him info about Emma."
"That's a safe idea," he said. "Nothing like offering up a friend on the sacrificial alter of your own desperate pursuits."
"She'll be fine. Besides, we're not friends."
Zack put his peanuts on the counter and looked at me.
"I'll get my own," I said, waving my pocket change around. Like any broke student, I was proud of every doggone dime. He shrugged.
The thirty-something, dirty blond behind the counter reached for the peanuts, revealing a very tattooed arm.
"You know, it's not like this is the stupidest thing I've done, anyways," I continued, provoked by his silence. "And I can always back out if I want to. I can always decide I don't want to be a vampire killer."
The cashier rang up Zack and then took my cheese puffs. She had very fluid hand movements and counted change to a little waltz no one else seemed to hear. I thought that was cool. Who said a 'flipping-burgers' job has no class? My mom. Probably everyone's mom.
"Thanks," I said. We grabbed our purchases and took off.
I don't believe in over-exertion on weekends when it comes to homework. But I also don't believe in failing and as it had been a slow week in the productive department, I found myself scheduling a group project meeting on a Saturday morning. Zack and I showed up at the public library at 10:07 a.m. and found the rest of our group in the back.
Shockingly, (and by shockingly, I mean not surprising at all), Gryffith was the only one missing.
Emily Thompson and Emma - wearing bright pink lipstick and a red jumper - sat next to a window in the deserted building.
"Good to know our tax dollars are being well used," I said, joining the girls at the rickety table. Emily adjusted her glasses and looked at me.
"Glad you finally showed up," she retorted, obviously not trying to keep the disdain from her voice. Persnickety witch.
"Well, we're here now, so let's get started," I said.
"Who made you captain?" Emily cut in. Clearly, waiting seven whole minutes for me to show up had been too much for her fragile inner-clock.
"I did," I said. "When I was the only who bothered to get everyone's contact information and then call everyone up and then set up the meeting place. But, by all means, go for it. Your first job as team captain is to find out where the heck Gryffith is."
Emma raised her head slightly at the sound of Gryffith's name and Emily scrunched her nose unpleasantly.
Hearing no further objections, I continued.
"I think we should do a 3D timeline for the presentation and we can each take two decades in history to work on. Get the material we need and then meet back next week to put the board together."
Emily was filing her nails, trying to look like she didn't care that I was still in charge and Emma was doodling Gryffith's name on her notebook. I looked at Zack for help but he was thoroughly preoccupied with the table.
Then I saw why.
Please let my digress so I can complain about spiders. This will only take a minute. Nothing should be allowed to have more than six legs (and I only make this exception for six legs because I believe in Ladybugs). Everyone knows that spiders are creepy. But they're also incredibly small. You can't be scared of them without looking like an idiot, but let's be honest, NO ONE is not intimidated by them. It's a no-win situation in which everyone comes out twitching, embarrassed or dead.
The moment Emma saw the spider, she let out a shriek, followed by a series of lung-ripping screams. I wasn't about to challenge her "library voice" - it was all I could to do keep from going Fay Wray myself. Emily jumped backwards out of her chair, as did I, and Zack sat paralyzed in his seat.
I don't believe in over-exertion on weekends when it comes to homework. But I also don't believe in failing and as it had been a slow week in the productive department, I found myself scheduling a group project meeting on a Saturday morning. Zack and I showed up at the public library at 10:07 a.m. and found the rest of our group in the back.
Shockingly, (and by shockingly, I mean not surprising at all), Gryffith was the only one missing.
Emily Thompson and Emma - wearing bright pink lipstick and a red jumper - sat next to a window in the deserted building.
"Good to know our tax dollars are being well used," I said, joining the girls at the rickety table. Emily adjusted her glasses and looked at me.
"Glad you finally showed up," she retorted, obviously not trying to keep the disdain from her voice. Persnickety witch.
"Well, we're here now, so let's get started," I said.
"Who made you captain?" Emily cut in. Clearly, waiting seven whole minutes for me to show up had been too much for her fragile inner-clock.
"I did," I said. "When I was the only who bothered to get everyone's contact information and then call everyone up and then set up the meeting place. But, by all means, go for it. Your first job as team captain is to find out where the heck Gryffith is."
Emma raised her head slightly at the sound of Gryffith's name and Emily scrunched her nose unpleasantly.
Hearing no further objections, I continued.
"I think we should do a 3D timeline for the presentation and we can each take two decades in history to work on. Get the material we need and then meet back next week to put the board together."
Emily was filing her nails, trying to look like she didn't care that I was still in charge and Emma was doodling Gryffith's name on her notebook. I looked at Zack for help but he was thoroughly preoccupied with the table.
Then I saw why.
Please let my digress so I can complain about spiders. This will only take a minute. Nothing should be allowed to have more than six legs (and I only make this exception for six legs because I believe in Ladybugs). Everyone knows that spiders are creepy. But they're also incredibly small. You can't be scared of them without looking like an idiot, but let's be honest, NO ONE is not intimidated by them. It's a no-win situation in which everyone comes out twitching, embarrassed or dead.
The moment Emma saw the spider, she let out a shriek, followed by a series of lung-ripping screams. I wasn't about to challenge her "library voice" - it was all I could to do keep from going Fay Wray myself. Emily jumped backwards out of her chair, as did I, and Zack sat paralyzed in his seat.
"Squash it!" Emily shouted at me - suddenly she was totally OK with me being the leader of the pack. "C'mon, Erin, it's just a spider. Just hit it!"
She continued to pester me and Emma continued to scream and that big, brown spider continued walking in my direction.
All I could do was just think about its legs. I wanted to vomit a little just thinking about them. In hindsight I wish I had. I wish I had vomited all over bossy Emily and perfect Emma and under-zealous Zack.
"Use the book," I heard Zack say and I felt him slip it from my fingers. His initial paralysis had left him, lucky for us.
SLAM.
The spider was dead (obviously) and the book was no longer on my list of check-outs. (I'm not a huge fan of little spider carcasses speckling my reading materials). Emma had finally shut up and Emily gave me a look of complete disapproval.
"See you guys on Monday," she said, snatching her bag.
"Nice, Erin," said Zack. "I bet you'll be great as an assassin of the un-dead. Too bad you can't even slay a spider."
Of course, he was right - not that I would ever admit that to him in a thousand years. Or ever, for that matter. Furious with everyone, including myself, I stormed out after Emily, bumping into Gryffith on the way. He had arrived - late - to see Emma - obviously.
I spent the rest of the afternoon on my bedroom floor doing my part of the history project. I went a little overboard and several hours later found myself covered in glue and sadly out of glitter and black card stock.
It was already dark outside by the time I had de-glued myself and was ready to walk to the drugstore. The same woman from that morning was working behind the counter when the acorn-sized bell chimed above me. I gave her a smile. She was cool, after all.
The drugstore was completely deserted - it was almost closing time - so I wondered around the isles alone, humming dumb songs to myself.
I was in the school supplies section, next to the pencils and the sticky notes, when all the lights in the store turned off. Must not know I'm still in here.
"Hey, don't close up shop yet!" I called out. "I'm still in here! Sorry, didn't realize you were closing so soon!"
No one answered my half-hearted apology. In fact, there was no sound at all.
Complete stillness.
I will never know what inspired me to grab he sharpened sample pencil on the display in front of me, but I like to attribute it to my natural, self-preservation/undead-slayer instincts.
My fingers had not grasped the writing implement for more than a second when two strong arms had me from behind. A raspy female voice whispered in my ear.
"Vampire rumor mill says there's a new idiot in town."
This was a real vampire.
"If you're referring to me," I said, trying not to sound like I was about to wet myself, "then you're mistaken. I've lived here for years."
Her elbow was locked down on my throat and I could feel my face turning red and then slowly turn blue.
"Listen, I don't want to be enemies with anybody, but don't become a bother."
"I can't promise that," was all I could manage. Somehow this didn't seem like the right time to tell her I planned on killing her, though after the spider incident this afternoon, I was beginning to doubt my own awesomeness.
She shoved me against a stack of notebooks.
"Wrong answer, kiddo."
She was crushing my windpipe and it suddenly hit me how real this was.
"Are you killing me?" I asked. She held me there for a second before loosing her grip slightly.
"No," she laughed in my ear. "Because I don't actually think you're much of a threat. You're a weak human. You're a little girl. And you don't have what it takes to kill me. . . You don't want what it takes to kill me. . ."
My head was fogging up.
"I've killed people. I have to do it. A lot. And it's no fun during or after."
I felt her hands let go of my neck and the blood rushed back to my head, along with my boiling temper, frayed nerves and injured pride. And also the fact that one thing remained uncontested: she was a murderous vampire. So I turned around with the pencil firmly in my hands.
My forceful gaze met her unsuspecting one.
Plunge.
The wooden pencil went straight to her heart. Like a stake, but way smaller.
She seemed confused at first, then her eyes went blank and she fell backwards. Her pharmacy-issued staff shirt was seeping with red and even in the dark I could make out the name on her badge: Chrystal. I ran for the door.
...to be continued.
She continued to pester me and Emma continued to scream and that big, brown spider continued walking in my direction.
All I could do was just think about its legs. I wanted to vomit a little just thinking about them. In hindsight I wish I had. I wish I had vomited all over bossy Emily and perfect Emma and under-zealous Zack.
"Use the book," I heard Zack say and I felt him slip it from my fingers. His initial paralysis had left him, lucky for us.
SLAM.
The spider was dead (obviously) and the book was no longer on my list of check-outs. (I'm not a huge fan of little spider carcasses speckling my reading materials). Emma had finally shut up and Emily gave me a look of complete disapproval.
"See you guys on Monday," she said, snatching her bag.
"Nice, Erin," said Zack. "I bet you'll be great as an assassin of the un-dead. Too bad you can't even slay a spider."
Of course, he was right - not that I would ever admit that to him in a thousand years. Or ever, for that matter. Furious with everyone, including myself, I stormed out after Emily, bumping into Gryffith on the way. He had arrived - late - to see Emma - obviously.
I spent the rest of the afternoon on my bedroom floor doing my part of the history project. I went a little overboard and several hours later found myself covered in glue and sadly out of glitter and black card stock.
It was already dark outside by the time I had de-glued myself and was ready to walk to the drugstore. The same woman from that morning was working behind the counter when the acorn-sized bell chimed above me. I gave her a smile. She was cool, after all.
The drugstore was completely deserted - it was almost closing time - so I wondered around the isles alone, humming dumb songs to myself.
I was in the school supplies section, next to the pencils and the sticky notes, when all the lights in the store turned off. Must not know I'm still in here.
"Hey, don't close up shop yet!" I called out. "I'm still in here! Sorry, didn't realize you were closing so soon!"
No one answered my half-hearted apology. In fact, there was no sound at all.
Complete stillness.
I will never know what inspired me to grab he sharpened sample pencil on the display in front of me, but I like to attribute it to my natural, self-preservation/undead-slayer instincts.
My fingers had not grasped the writing implement for more than a second when two strong arms had me from behind. A raspy female voice whispered in my ear.
"Vampire rumor mill says there's a new idiot in town."
This was a real vampire.
"If you're referring to me," I said, trying not to sound like I was about to wet myself, "then you're mistaken. I've lived here for years."
Her elbow was locked down on my throat and I could feel my face turning red and then slowly turn blue.
"Listen, I don't want to be enemies with anybody, but don't become a bother."
"I can't promise that," was all I could manage. Somehow this didn't seem like the right time to tell her I planned on killing her, though after the spider incident this afternoon, I was beginning to doubt my own awesomeness.
She shoved me against a stack of notebooks.
"Wrong answer, kiddo."
She was crushing my windpipe and it suddenly hit me how real this was.
"Are you killing me?" I asked. She held me there for a second before loosing her grip slightly.
"No," she laughed in my ear. "Because I don't actually think you're much of a threat. You're a weak human. You're a little girl. And you don't have what it takes to kill me. . . You don't want what it takes to kill me. . ."
My head was fogging up.
"I've killed people. I have to do it. A lot. And it's no fun during or after."
I felt her hands let go of my neck and the blood rushed back to my head, along with my boiling temper, frayed nerves and injured pride. And also the fact that one thing remained uncontested: she was a murderous vampire. So I turned around with the pencil firmly in my hands.
My forceful gaze met her unsuspecting one.
Plunge.
The wooden pencil went straight to her heart. Like a stake, but way smaller.
She seemed confused at first, then her eyes went blank and she fell backwards. Her pharmacy-issued staff shirt was seeping with red and even in the dark I could make out the name on her badge: Chrystal. I ran for the door.
...to be continued.
No comments:
Post a Comment